Just found out that we lost a dear sweet lady this last weekend. I did not know her as well as I should have, I should have been a better friend and visited with her more and not let work and things get in the way, but I failed. We often do that and then in times like this, we regret not doing more. Everytime I feel this way, I say I am going to do more next time, tell more people how I feel and be there, even to just hold their hand and let them know someone cares.
I will never forget the last hour I spent with Mona. She was in the hospital and I had went by after work. She and I spent time talking and when I had asked her how she was feeling, she replied, "I've been better". The only thing I could think of was, "and you will be better again." I felt it would not be long until she would be all healed. But I still failed to go back to see her when I should have. I feel rotten about that.
So how can I have these feelings for Mona (and others I did not say what I needed to) and still feel that there are other relationships that I want to give up on? Relationships that should be the most important but I feel so lost in them that I can't say the words I need to say and have the feelings I should have.
Rest in peace sweet Mona...
That is deep for 4:13 in the morning. It is hard sometimes because we can overwhelm ourselves with what if's, or should of's. Just know that you can only do what you can do, it takes two to make a relationship work, whether it be friends or family members. I have not talked to my brother in Ill. since mom passed, but I have tried and that is all we can do. We can't beat ourselves up over situations like that. I pray about it alot and pray for him, and do have the assurance that I have done what I can do. Sorry for the long comment. Praying for you dear!
ReplyDeleteuntil next time... nel